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Yo Mamma Jokes
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![]() Yo momma is like a village bicycle, everyone's had a ride.
Yo mamma is like a railroad system, she gets laid all over the country.
Yo mamma is like a balling ball, pick it up, finger it and throw it in the gutter.
Yo mamma is like a hardware store, 4 god damn cents a screw.
Yo mamma is like a T.V, a 4 year old can turn her on.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she makes onion's cry.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest, they said `No Professionals.'
Yo mamma is so ugly, when she was born, her momma said `What a treasure.' her father said `Yeah, lets bury it!'
Yo mamma is so ugly, they filmed the movie `Gorillas in the Mist' in her shower.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she didn't need a costume for Star Wars.
Yo mamma is so ugly, her mamma had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, strip joints would pay her to leave her clothes on.
Yo mamma is so ugly, Ted Danson won't date her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, cats try to bury her in the sand at the beach.
Yo mamma is so ugly, her mamma had to tie steaks to make the dogs play with her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, your dad takes her to work, so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mamma is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mamma is so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
Yo mamma is so fat, her nickname is `DAMN!'
Yo mamma is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mamma is so fat, she lies on the beach, and people run around her shouting `Free Willy.'
Yo mamma is so fat, when she has sex, she has to give directions.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell `Taxi.'
Yo mamma is so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paint roller.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she bungie jumps, she brings down the bridge.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she bungie jumps, she gos straight to hell.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she sits around the house, SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she steps on the scale, it reads `One at a time please.'
Yo mamma is so fat, when she steps on the scale, it reads `To be continued.'
Yo mamma is so fat, she fell in love, and broke it.
Yo mamma is so fat, God couldn't light the Earth, until she moved.
Yo mamma is so fat, NASA had to put a satellite around her.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A, Chicago.
Yo mamma is so fat, her legs are like spoiled milk, white and chunky.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she sits on the beach, Green Peace throw her back in.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she hauls ass, she makes two trips.
Yo mamma is so fat, you have to grease the bathtub to get her out.
Yo mamma is so fat, she fell over, and rocked herself to sleep by trying to get up.
Yo mamma is so fat, she influences tides.
Yo mamma is so fat, she stands in two time zones.
Yo mamma is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mamma is so fat, she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mamma is so fat, you have to grease the doorframe and hold a Twinkie on the over side to get the bitch through.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she gos to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speedhumps.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she wears a X-Files t-shirt, helicopters try land on her
Yo mamma is so fat, the only picture you have of her is a satellite picture.
Yo mamma is so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and created skittles.
Yo mamma is so fat, she would have been E.T when she rode the bike across the moon, but the bitch caused an eclipse.
Yo mamma is so fat, they tie a rope around her and drags her through a pipe to clean it.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she stands in a left turn lane, she gets a green arrow.
Yo mamma is so fat, the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
Yo mamma is so stupid, she saw an NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign. She went home and brought 16 friends.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she tried to place M&M's in alphabetical order.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she makes Beavis and Butthead look like Noble Prizewinners.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she watches `The Three Stooges' and takes notes.
Yo mamma is so sluty, she heard Santa Clause say `Ho Ho Ho' she thought she was getting it three times.
Yo mamma is so old, I told her to act her age, and the bitch dies.
Yo mamma's nose is so big, she makes Pinocchio look like a cat.
If my dog looked as ugly as yo mamma, I'd shave it's ass and teach it to walk backwards.
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