Blonde Jokes
How are blondes and computers the same?
You never appreciate them until they go down on you.
How did the blonde burn her ear?
She was ironing and the phone rang.
how did the blonde break her arm?
She tripped over the cordless phone.
What do you call a blonde with a brain?
A golden retriever.
What do you call a blonde with a brain cell?
Gifted.
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
pregnant.
How do blondes brain cells die?
Alone
What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?
Is it mine.
Why did the blond get fired from the m & m's factory?
She kept throwing out the w's
What did the blonde say when she walked into the bar?
Ow.
Why did the blonde take sand paper to the desert?
She thought that it was a map.
Why did the blonde fail phys ed.?
she thought a quater back meant getting a quater refund.
Why dont blondes talk while having sex?
Their mothers always told them not to talk to strangers
Why couldnt the blonde make ice cubes?
She had forgot the recipe.
Why did the blonde fail her driving test?
She wasn't used to being in the front seat.
Why do blondes like sunroofs?
More legroom.
What did the blonde who graduated from college say?
Wecome to McDonalds.
Why did the blonde get fired from her job as a cattle rancher?
She couldnt keep her calves together.
What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg?
Nothing they've never met.
What's a blondes idea of safe sex?
Locking the car door.
What do you call a blonde Policewomen?
A civil servant.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A rare species.
What is the smartest thing that ever came out of a blonde's mouth?
Einstein's Cock.
What is the maximum speed for a blonde?
66, 67, 68, 69 turn around.
How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
Write ` turn over ' on both side of a piece of paper.
What do you call a blonde in a toaster?
A Poptart.
What is dumber then two brunettes trying to build a house in the ocean?
Two blondes trying to burn it down.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, she stands there waiting for the world to rotate around her.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: Why don't blonds play frisbee?
A: It hurts their teeth.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the fish?
A: She tried to drown it.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
Did you hear about the blonde who dies while drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
What is the best thing that ever came out of a blonde's mouth?
When she starts with the words she said?
What is the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
The rooster says, “Cock a doodle do.” The blonde says, “Any cock will do.”
What's a blonde's favourite surgery?
A Slip - A - Dict - Omy.
What the difference between a guy and a blonde?
The blonde has more sperm in her body then the guy does.
What do you call a 1000 blondes chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
How do you get a blonde pregnant?
And your calling them stupid!
What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
` Blow Job ' with handles.
What's black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A man that told one to many blonde jokes.
How do you know a blonde been using the computer?
There's a condom on the joystick, and $2 in the A: drive.
You ask a blonde, “Are you sexually active?” She answers, “No, I just lying there!”
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you. " She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the North side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to fellow Blonde?"
A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening. The redhead bets the blonde $50that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump. "I'll take that bet," the blonde replied. A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped form the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50. "No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you $50 dollars." The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the 5:30 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out." "That's okay," the blonde replies, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."